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    because he ll be away for work so much and it ll help with the mortgage &
    She gives me the family run-down, and then moves on to
    household maintenance.
    & which was very disappointing. So your father told them we weren t prepared
    to pay for it unless they fixed it up. The whole thing was disgusting. I don t know
    how people like that stay in business &
    And then she gets to the thing that s been scratching her,
    the reason for her call, even if she doesn t know it herself. I
    know it because her voice changes, discontent bittering up
    her mouth.
    And what else? Maddie leaves for Fiji next week. Auntie Yvonne says she s been
    saving up for it all year  you know how she had that part-time job at the
    newsagent s? Good to see that. As your father said, she had a goal and she s
    seen it through to the end. Of course Yvonne and Robert will help her out a bit,
    but still, Maddie s always had her head screwed on right. She s going with a
    couple of her friends. Sarah is one of them  remember her from Maddie s
    eighteenth? Lovely girl. They wanted to do something special to mark the end
    of their high school years. Something nice.
    The disapproval in her tone isn t for my cousin,
    Madeleine. It s for me. Because I didn t want to do anything
    special or nice to mark the end of my high school years. I
    wanted to go to the Gold Coast and get drunk like
    everybody else. This shouldn t have been wrong, but for
    some reason my father decided it was.
    I knew he would. That s why I left it until the last minute to
    tell them I was going. And then he and I argued, and in the
    few days before I went he wouldn t look at me when he was
    speaking to me, if he d speak to me at all. I was eighteen, I
    could do what I wanted, but it came at a price. My father s
    eyes can be the coldest place on earth.
    For him, it was all about control. It was something I
    wanted too much. It would be good for me not to get it. But
    when I overheard Mum discussing me on the phone,
    speaking from her position on the cross, I wanted to ask
    her for clarification. I didn t do drugs; I got good grades at
    school; my teachers liked me; I had friends, guys and girls,
    a group of mates to hang around with, even if I didn t have a
    cloying, specially close best friend in the way of Maddie
    and Sarah; I wasn t a bad person  so why, why, did she
    always proceed my name with a sharply exhaled breath?
    Couldn t she see that if I always did what he wanted there
    wouldn t be any of me left?
    Here s the sting: if, by some strange act of God, I had
    been unnaturally mature and pre-empted Maddie by
    marking the end of my high school years with a sedate
    Fijian holiday in a resort empty of anybody still young
    enough to want to party, it wouldn t have made Mum happy.
    It would have been wrong, too.
    And that s because, in the restaurant of life, my mother
    always wants what someone else is having. Auntie Yvonne
    is proud of Maddie. She just loves her. She d be excited
    whether Maddie was going to Fiji or the Gold Coast or
    wherever.
    Mum doesn t feel that about me. So I must be the
    problem.
    I delete her message without listening to the rest of it.
    11
    Collision
    Coastalwatch
    Swell size 1 1.5 metres  Swell direction S
    The strength of yesterday s southerly change has made for erratic climate-
    change style extremes today. It s more like winter than summer. Some solid 3
    4ft waves around this morning, pushing up to 4 5ft during the day. Strong SW
    winds forecast to turn SE &
    By the time I get down to the back car park dirty grey clouds
    are scudding across the sky. It s close to low tide and the
    break isn t liking the southerly swell, really sucking up on the
    right bank, showing a dirty underbelly of grey water
    pockmarked by sand. The water s surface looks scaly in
    the wind.
    I walk down to the break with one of the crows who was
    in the car park getting changed when I arrived. He s a nice
    old guy who likes to talk, always as excited as a kid. One
    day he just started talking to me like he d known me his
    whole life. I didn t mind though. In fact, I liked it.
     Bloody crowded, he says when we see the break.  I ve
    got to get back up to Crescent Head.
     Crescent Head would have to be crowded too, wouldn t
    it?
     The point break is, but the beach breaks aren t. You can
    have some good surfs there all to yourself. Uncrowded.
    I ll have to check with Hannah whether uncrowded is a
    real word. In surfing it is. Crowds are a major concern. I saw
    a photograph of Manly on one of the surf websites the other
    day. It showed a line of surfers, maybe four or five deep,
    stretching from Queenscliff down to the south end without a
    break. It looked like hell. Maybe it s good that this place has
    got such a bad reputation.
    As though he can read my mind, the old crow says,
     Been a bit of aggro lately. Few broken boards. Bit of a biff
    in the car park the other day.
    I wonder how it happens, the breaking of the board.
    Does the aggressor wait until the person has laid it down
    on the bitumen and is unlocking their car, unaware? Or do
    they rip it out of the person s arms and break it across their
    knee?
    I start unwinding my leg rope from around my board.
     That little Shane bastard has got a lot to do with it, the
    old guy says, nodding his head at a surfer making his way
    across on a right.
    I stare out at  Shane and see the flash of colour on his
    forearms, which are covered in tatts. Just looking at him
    gives me a bad feeling.
     He s always stirring things up that one. Got a mouth on
     im, that kid.
    Because the swell is from the south it s breaking over at
    Carparks  in line with the top car park  and peeling right.
    Most of the guys are clumped over there, constantly trying [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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