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five, exclusive of all the children, no one spoke. Everyone was
considering this. No one was quick to accept it. No one was going to jump
forward and challenge it either. Something in my manner and posture
held them aloof.
"No surprise. I certainly didn't cower or shiver or evince what I
was suffering. I had not learnt to express angelic suffering through
flesh. I merely sat there, aware that by their measure I was young,
comely, and a mystery; and they were not brave enough to try to hurt
me as they so often hurt others, to stab, or pierce, or burn me as I
had seen them do enough times to their enemies, and to their own
despised.
"Suddenly the whole group burst into murmuring. A very old
man rose to his feet. His words were even simpler than hers. I would
say he had perhaps half of her working vocabulary. But this was
enough to express himself and he asked of me simply: 'What do you
have to say for yourself?'
"The others reacted as if this question were an expression of sheer
genius. Maybe it was. The woman pulled very close to me at that
moment. She sat down beside me and with an imploring look, she
embraced me.
"I realized something that her fate was connected to mine. She
was slightly afraid of all these people, her kindred. And she wasn't
afraid of me! Interesting. That is what tenderness and love can do,
and marvels also, I thought. And God says these people are part of
Nature!
"I hung my head, but not for long. Finally, I rose to my feet,
bringing her up with me, my mate, as it were, and, using all the words
known in her language, some even that the children had been adding
already in this generation that the adults didn't yet know, I said:
" 'I mean you no harm. I came from Heaven. I came to learn
about you and to love you. And I wish you only all good things under
God!'
"There was a great clamour, a happy clamour, with people clapping
their hands, and rising to their feet, and the little ones jumping
up and down. It seemed a consensus emerged that Lilia, the woman I
had been with, could now return to the group. She had been cast out
to die when she had come upon me. But she was now surely upheld.
And she had returned with a god, a deity, a sky being . .. they aimed
for it with many syllables and combinations of syllables.
" 'No!' I declared. 'I am not a god. I did not make the world. I
worship, just as you do, the God who did.'
"This, too, was accepted in jubilation. Indeed, the frenzy began to
alarm me. I felt the limits of my body keenly with all these others
dancing and screaming and shouting and kicking at the wood in the
fire, and this lovely Lilia clinging to me.
" 'I must sleep now!' I said suddenly. And this was no more or less
than the perfect truth. I had scarce slept an hour or more at any one
time in my three days in the flesh and was bone weary and bruised
and cast out of Heaven. I wanted to turn to this woman, and bury my
sorrow in her arms.
"Everyone gave their approval. A hut was prepared for us. People
ran hither and thither gathering the finest skins and furs for us, and
the softest chewed leather, and we were ushered into this place in
silence, and I lay back down on the fur beneath me, the skin of a
mountain goat, long and soft.
" 'God, what do you want me to do!' I asked aloud. There came
no answer. There was only the silence and the darkness in the hut,
and then the arms of a Daughter of Men around me, luscious and
loving and full of tenderness and passion, that mystery, that
combination, that purely living miracle, tenderness and lust rolling and
rolling into one."
Memnoch stopped. He seemed exhausted suddenly. He rose and
again walked to the bank of the sea. He stood in the soft sand and
pebbles. I saw the outline of his wings flash for a moment, perhaps
exactly the way the woman had seen it, and then he was merely the
large figure, with his shoulders hunched as he stood with his back to
me, his face apparently buried in his hands.
"Memnoch, what happened!" I said. "Surely God didn't leave you
there! What did you do? What happened the next morning when you
woke up?"
He gave a sigh and turned around finally. He walked slowly back
to the boulder, and sat down again.
"By morning, I had known her a half dozen times and lay half
dead, and that in itself was another lesson. But I had no thought
whatsoever on what I might do. While she'd slept, I had prayed to
God, I had prayed to Michael and to the other angels. I had prayed
and prayed, asking what I should do.
"Can you guess who answered me?" he asked.
"The souls in Sheol," I said.
"Yes, precisely! Those are the spirits who answered. How could
you know? Those are the spirits the strongest souls of Sheol who
heard my prayers to the Creator and heard the impetus and essence
of my cries and my excuses and my pleas for mercy and forgiveness
and understanding heard all of it, absorbed it, drank it up, as they
did the spiritual yearnings of their human and living children. And by
the time the sun rose, by the time all the men of the group had started
to gather, I knew one thing only:
"Whatever happened to me, whatever was the will of God, the
souls of Sheol would never be the same! They had learnt too much
from the voice of this Angel fallen into Matter who had thoughtlessly
cried to Heaven and to God.
"Of course the full impact didn't hit me. I didn't sit there reasoning
it out. The strongest souls had had their first glimpse of Paradise.
They knew now of a Light which made an Angel weep and beg in [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ] - zanotowane.pl
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